#temporaryrelieffromrectalirritation

Despairing of raddled acquaintances adding their off-putting au naturel look to your timeline in the name of tumour treatment? Disgruntled at posturing males posting redacted penii pix in your personal space?

Worry not. For 2015, I am launching Hags-in-Bags, allowing your none-too-comely female chums to responsibly hide their blemishes, and Cocks-in-a-Box, premature burials for those men who like to pretend they care about cancer, but really just want to post pictures of their privates without fear of prosecution.